Strong Women of God

When I think of the strong women of God, I immediately think of women of the Bible. Deborah and Jael come to mind. Jael drove a tent stake into the heart of a man – she was a warrior! But, this is not about the women of the Bible. This is about the women sitting in church pews every week who have been silenced. The women whose voices were silenced, ignored, or have not been heard.

Dinah

These strong women of God are more in the line of Dinah than Deborah or Jael. Dinah, found in Genesis 34, was raped. There is controversy over what that really means from the historical perspective, but what is not in controversy is that she was silenced. In the midst of her suffering, the men took action to protect their own reputations. They took action, not in consultation with Dinah to see what she wanted and what she thought was best for her. 

The men were upset because of the disgrace it brought to Israel. Not concerned about Dinah, but concerned about the reputation and dishonoring of Israel. 

Voiceless

G. Spivak, quoted in Todd Penner’s book Textually Violating Dinah, said “she [Dinah] is only speaking if there is a listener to complete the exchange.” Recently, a report on the sexual assaults committed by a giant of the faith, Ravi Zacharias, was released. The report outlined repeated sexual assaults on women across the world. At least one woman came forward years ago about the abuse, but like Dinah, there was no one listening. 

I spent years in the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination, of which Ravi Zacharias was a member. I was not surprised at the lack of interest in listening to the early victim who came forward, but I was severely disappointed

Sexual Abuse And The Church

It is the disregard for the well-being of victims of abuse that is so bothersome about the church’s centuries’ long silence. Church is supposed to be a safe place, yet there are children unable to tell their Sunday School teacher or children’s minister the secret of what’s happening at home. There are pastors, elders, and deacons involved in sex trafficking, sometimes the trafficker, and sometimes the knowing “john.”

My Twitter feed over the last two weeks has had countless women retelling the horrors of rape and sexual assaults committed by their pastors. Some were convinced by the pastor that she was his “reward”. One of the trafficking victims I worked with, who was trafficked by her dad, was told she had to perform these acts because she had to obey the 10 Commandments to “Honor you Mother and Father”. 

These are issues not being openly talked about. I only know because of the countless victims of trafficking and abuse I’ve worked with, listened to, and tried to help over the last twenty plus years. The church has become a refuge for the perpetrators, for the abusers, rather than a place of refuge and hope for the victims.

Romantic Paternalism

The United States Supreme Court in the case of Frontiero v Richardson, a gender-equality case, wrote,  “There can be no doubt that our nation has had a long and unfortunate history of sex discrimination. Traditionally, such discrimination was rationalized by an attitude of ‘romantic paternalism’, which, in practical effect, put women, not on a pedestal, but in a cage”.  The romantic paternalism on display in the Dinah story, put Dinah in a cage. The same is true for today’s victims of sexual abuse and sexual assault sitting in the pews of our churches. 

Some of the responses to the Ravi tragedy (and I use tragedy here for the victims, not for his downfall), harkens back to how Dinah’s family responded. They didn’t focus on the needs of the victim, but rather to protect the “family” reputation, the institution. A large pastoral response to the Ravi tragedy was, “but for the grace of God go I.” 

Instead of asking the victims in this tragedy, other women who have been sexually assaulted, or women within their churches about how to respond, what to do, or how they felt, they simply referenced his fall from grace and that they could be susceptible to such sins, but glad God’s grace had spared them from such. It became about them rather than the victims or the celebrity Christian culture, or the institutional protections of the male leader that refused to listen to the victims who initially came forward. 

Sexual Sins

Sexual assault is about control. It’s not about sexual desires. But, let me say this: if you are a pastor and can’t control your sexual desires, you are not a good leader and should not be the leader of a church.   

I’ve sat in church and heard pastors talk about homosexuality as a sin. However, these same pastors are silent as to rape, sexual assault, pornography addiction, and other forms of abuse. Pastors need to be leading the way in condemning sexual assaults and sex as a form of control. You’ve got Biblical examples in Dinah, Esther, and Bathsheba. More importantly, there are people in those church pews who are perpetrators of abuse and victims of abuse. Victims need to know they are safe and are heard. 

Strong Women Of God

The strong women of God this post is about are those women who kept their faith in God regardless of how the church treated them. Those women who have been silenced by the men, who were put in cage. It is the survivors of the abuse by Ravi Zacharias, pastors, elders, and other church-going men who were ignored, ostracized, vilified, harassed, rejected and abandoned by their church and church family. 

This is for the strong woman of God who wakes up every day with the burden of keeping a secret about what her pastor is doing or was doing to her. Who brushes her teeth, puts on her makeup, and puts on a happy face to go to work and do what she must to exist, all the while her body has been battered and bruised by a man revered and on a pedestal because of his position within the church. For the woman who cries every day over what she has endured physically and emotionally, yet maintains her love for God even when the leader of His people in His church is committing such horrible and evil acts upon her. 

Keep Speaking Up

For the women who have been victimized, speak up. You are being heard. We are listening. 

Photo courtesy of #KathySmithImages